This is a lesson I need to learn some times: there are some things best left to professionals. Examples include dentistry, fuel production, aircraft piloting, surgery, many home repairs, and (drum roll please):
Wait for it........
GETTING A TOURIST VISA TO VISIT RUSSIA!!!
What I should have done: hired a professional visa handler to get my visa months before I left the states.
What I actually did: made plans to go to Russia shortly before I left for Paris thinking I could easily get a visa in Paris. Waited to go the Russian Consulate until just before Christmas. Web site says they are open, locked doors say they are closed. Sign in Russian days come back after January 6. Web site says visa takes ten days to process. I am leaving Paris on January 12th. Will try in another country. Israel.
Go to capital of Israel, Jerusalem. Discover that Russian consulates are in Tel Aviv and Haifa. On Monday take tram to near car rental agency. Take cab due to torrential rains, get lost, find car agency on my own afoot. Brand new employee takes 2 hours to finish car rental paperwork. (She was hired for her looks, so I am fine).
Massive traffic jam causes me to enter Tel Aviv after dark. Get hotel room, plan to visit consulate Tuesday.
On Tuesday I visit Russian consulate. Closed for Russian holiday. Pay $5 to park. They are in a large office tower by the beach.
On Wednesday I visit Russian consulate at 2 p.m.. Basic instructions are: fill out on line form, we are open until noon. Pay $5 to park. I buy passport photos. I learn how to operate an Israeli elevator. Trust me, it's weird.
That night I fill out on line form as best as I logically can. And can recall. Last two employers, including name of boss, addresses and phone numbers from 23 years ago. Military service from 40 years ago. Marital status from 34 years ago. Health history questions. Countries visited questions. Money questions.
To avoid problems with the visa application I try to make it easy for Russia to admit me. To like me. Even love me. I am single (not divorced), I don't belong to ANY organizations (too many to list), I am in perfect health, I attended one university (not four), I was a peacetime infantry soldier (why worry them with references to WMDs?) and I plan to be in Russia for 3 days.
I also need an "invitation letter". I make hotel reservations on line and email hotel in Moscow for letter. Hotel emails me a form, I email back completed form.
Thursday morning and nothing from Moscow hotel. Fortunately Israeli hotel desk clerk is Russian. He calls Moscow hotel, they are confused by their own form. He arranges for letter to arrive by 10 a.m. It comes and I head off for consulate.
Arrive consulate and enter line at 11a.m. Only six people in front of me. At noon office closes. There are only three people in front of me in line. Pay $5 to park. Give a college student a ride home. Nice campus.
On Friday I arrive consulate at 9:30. After an hour's wait diplomat reads my papers and asks questions. Did I work at Penn State all of my life? (actually, that's the education section) Why is my father's name the same as mine?(Jr./Sr. stuff not shown my passport so I excluded it). Where is the last two employers' data? (can't recall it)
I was close. Really close to being done until he reads the invitation letter from the Moscow hotel. Multiple page form, seals of officialdom all over it. On one page of the form I am Ronald, on another I am Ron. I am told I need a corrected invitation letter. No way to fix it here. Do not pass GO, do not collect $200. Pay $5 to park.
Go back to Tel Aviv hotel. Clerk calls Moscow hotel and they eventually send corrected invitation letter. Too late to get back to consulate in time.
At this point some perfectly reasonable people would say to hell with Russia, etc. They would say no more of this junk, if its this hard to get in, how hard is it to get out?
In economics this becomes the sunk cost dilemma. We tend to to not want to abandon the time and money spent on what may be a failure. If we think we are close to being done after many attempts we are more likely to continue than after a few attempts. We hate being called quitters.
So I spend the weekend in Tel Aviv so I can go the consulate on Monday. It's a nice city and the food is good, so the time isn't wasted.
On Monday I am at the consulate by 9:30, third in line. Different diplomat, younger. We go over the same old qurstipns plus a few new ones. No business in Russia? Do you want you want to pay extra for expidited service? (no) He looks on s computer screen, makes some notes, staples my papers together and sends me to this cash window to pay.
Oops. Sign days visa costs 320 shekels. I discover that's for locals. Americans have to pay 640 shekels. I am short and they pnlytake cash. After a 30 minute trip I return from an ATM with more money. Take receipt back to visa window. More confusion because the cashier thought I paid more for expidited service.
In the end I am promised a visa in eight days. They hold on to my passport, so no side trips to Jordan for now. Me and my tiny rental car head north out of town, relieved and temporarily free of the Russian bear hug of paperwork.
